This Foolproof Strategy Can Help You Achieve Your 2021 Relationship Goals
Have you thought about your goals for 2021? After 2020 turned out to be completely different than anyone expected, setting goals for next year might feel pointless. Although no one knows for sure what will happen in 2021, setting achievable goals can help restore a healthy sense of purpose and control in your life.
By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC
Have you thought about your goals for 2021? After 2020 turned out to be completely different than anyone expected, setting goals for next year might feel pointless. Although no one knows for sure what will happen in 2021, setting achievable goals can help restore a healthy sense of purpose and control in your life.
If you’re single, you may be taking advantage of the current slump in the dating scene by dedicating more time to work. Or maybe you’re on the apps, looking for another brave soul who’s willing to bundle up for an outdoor coffee date. Whether your ultimate 2021 goal is to end up in a relationship or make a power move in your single life, there’s one strategy that is sure to work better than the rest.
Grab a notebook and pencil and keep reading to learn how to work towards your 2021 goals everyday, no matter what the year may hold.
The “Average Perfect Day” Method
Accomplishing a goal does not happen overnight. Achievement is something you have to work for little by little every day. Your habits might seem insignificant on their own, but over days, weeks, and months, they add up to dictate the direction of your life. Building habits that help you reach your goals starts with imagining what one “perfect” day in the journey would look like, then acting out elements of that day on a regular basis.
Step 1: Identify Your Dream
At this first stage, you don’t need to worry about being realistic. If you could have anything you wanted by the end of 2021, what would it be? An exclusive relationship? Six-figures? The sky’s the limit. Bonus points if you base your dream off your values or sense of purpose.
Step 2: Choose A Realistic End Goal
In order to feel motivated to work towards a goal, you need to know that it’s reachable. To decide on a realistic end goal, take into account the unpredictability of 2021 and ask yourself what you’re certain you can accomplish by the end of the year. Then, push it one step further. Research shows you’re more likely to feel motivated to work towards a goal you’re just shy of 100% sure you can achieve it.
Step 3: Plan Your Perfect Day
Visualize what it would look like for you to live one day in perfect alignment with your goal. Try asking yourself:
What time would I wake up?
What would I do in the morning?
What would I wear?
What would I listen to or watch?
How would my space look?
What kinds of activities would I engage in?
Who would I talk to?
What would I eat?
How much movement would I get?
What kind of thoughts would I have?
What would I do before bed?
What time would I go to sleep?
If your goal is to go on dates in hopes of beginning a relationship, you might include plenty of social activities to improve your chances of meeting a partner. If your goal is to go on a solo trip, your ideal day might include working on a side hustle to save extra money. The great thing about planning an average perfect day is that no matter what you hope to accomplish, there are simple things you can do each day to help increase your chances of success.
Step 4: Anticipate Change
Even without a pandemic, life is unpredictable. It’s important to leave room for change in your plans. This year, consider how your average perfect day might look different in the face of COVID restrictions. What are some substitute activities you can do if lockdowns or social gathering-limits take place? Consider making several average perfect day plans to account for changing circumstances.
Step 5: Live with Flexibility
After you’ve created your average perfect day plan, the final step is to live it out. Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect day. Very rarely will your days look exactly like the one you wrote out. The key is to regularly include elements from your plan into your daily life. That way, even if reaching your dream takes longer than you’d hoped, you can be sure that each day of 2021 was a step in the right direction.
Goal-setting before the beginning of a New Year can seem daunting. To work towards achievement and make sure that every day counts along the way, consider several different versions of how your average perfect day might look. Then be intentional about living out elements of ideal day everyday.
What are some of your dreams for 2021? Tell me on Instagram at @teawithmc or schedule a free phone consultation for help planning a fulfilling and successful year.
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You Can Have It All: Expert Secrets to Balancing Love and Your Career
If you are a career-driven person, you might be wondering if it’s possible to be successful at work while dating or maintaining a romantic relationship. Society constantly sends messages that make it seem like you have to choose one or the other. You can work, or you can be a mom. You can be a devoted husband, or you can travel for business. Our brains like this kind of “either-or” thinking because it makes information easy to categorize. However, in a world full of shades of grey, dichotomies like these are rarely ever true. You can, in all actuality, have both.
By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC
“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
Lady Gaga
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“I can live without money, but I can’t live without love.”
Judy Garland
If you are a career-driven person, you might be wondering if it’s possible to be successful at work while dating or maintaining a romantic relationship. Society constantly sends messages that make it seem like you have to choose one or the other. You can work, or you can be a mom. You can be a devoted husband, or you can travel for business. Our brains like this kind of “either-or” thinking because it makes information easy to categorize. However, in a world full of shades of grey, dichotomies like these are rarely ever true. You can, in all actuality, have both.
Devoting energy to a satisfying love life and a thriving career takes work. When you aren’t taking intentional, proactive steps to maintain balance, one of the two can easily fall to the wayside. To find and hold onto love without having to sacrifice your career, follow these four crucial steps.
Clarify Your Goals
Before making any decisions, it’s important to clarify what you really want. Zeroing in on your goals will help you prioritize your time in a way that’s most likely to lead to fulfillment both relationally and career-wise. If you have a goal to be in a serious relationship by 30, and at the age of 28 you’re working 80-hour weeks with no time to date, you might need to make some changes, such as hiring an assistant, delegating tasks, or making a lateral move to a company that prioritizes its employees’ work-life balance. Knowing specifically what you want empowers you to think creatively about how you can remove roadblocks along the way.
Communicate Expectations
One major reason couples experience dissatisfaction in relationships is because they do not effectively communicate their expectations. If you’re someone who likes to prioritize your career during the week and socialize only on the weekends, a person who wants to spend 3 full days per week together is probably not the right match for you, and you’re both better off knowing that right from the start. The good news- there is likely someone out there who has preferences similar to yours. When you communicate your expectations, you increase your chances of finding a person who meets them.
Set Boundaries
When you’re really passionate about something, like work or the person you’re dating, it’s easy to push the limits on how much time you’re willing to dedicate to it. If you have the urge to spend extra time working or with your partner, that’s great! It only becomes a problem if the time you’re spending on one area of your life compromises your goals in another. Decide how much of your time you want to spend on work and how much you want to save for your romantic life. Then, stick to your decision, knowing that doing so will help you achieve a fulfilling and balanced lifestyle.
Be Present
Whether you’re spending time with your significant other or at the office, eliminate as many distractions as possible. Keep your phone out of sight on dates to prevent anxiety over work calls or emails. When you’re working, turn off notifications for your social media accounts. Staying present will help you be more productive at work or connected during a date. Also, when you’re engaged in the present moment, you’re more likely to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing.
Contrary to popular belief, it is very possible to have a satisfying love life along with a successful career. While this might not happen totally naturally, you can actively take steps to promote happiness with both aspects of your life. Next time you find yourself thinking that you have to give up one passion in order to live out another, think again. The question isn’t “Can I do this?” The question is “How?”