Find your work flow

By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC

Love what you’ll do, and you’ll never work a day in your life.  That’s the common phrase.  Love when you do it, and you might never have to work another night in your life either.  Somewhere along the line, humans decided that the most efficient workday exists between 9 AM and 5 PM.  Oh, the good ole’ 9 to 5.  Covet or hate it, this routine style of working has truly made a name for itself.

It makes sense.  With the sun and fire as their only light sources, workers throughout history earned by day and played by night.  Evening was a time for recreation, restoration, and connection.

But in today’s modern world, technology allows work to creep into all hours of the day and night, easily distracting from personal activities.  Especially in the midst of COVID-19 and the resulting boom in working from home, the lines between the workday and the weekend can easily grow blurry.  While the hustle may feel exhilarating and even enjoyable for some, others find themselves exhausted by the end of the week.

Tom Hodgkinson is the author of bestselling books How to Be Idle and The Freedom Manifesto.  His remedy for burnout is quite the opposite of what you might think.  Founder of the magazine and curriculum, The Idler, Hodgkinson believes that regularly stepping away from work, or idling, is the key to not only happiness but also professional achievement.

In a May 2020 episode of The Happiness Lab, a podcast hosted by Yale professor and happiness researcher Dr. Laurie Santos, Hodgkins lists several examples of idle activities including taking walks with friends, napping, hour-long lunch breaks, and traveling- all with no work allowed.

Hodgkins explains that when we allow ourselves uninterrupted down time, our work performance and personal satisfaction bloom.  We create room for creativity, rest, and enjoyment.  At the same time, we replenish our energy and return to work with more drive.

Idling can be done at any time.  Nine to five workers might idle mostly at night, while remote workers can idle with more flexibility.  The goal is to relish the idle moments.  Regardless of when you work, your level of fulfillment impacts the way you show up, and this makes a difference.

In her Boston Globe Article, “Millennials aren’t lazy, they’re workaholics,” writer Katie Johnston points out anxiety’s correlation with lower career satisfaction, lower productivity, and fewer monetary bonuses.  Anxiety often interferes with motivation and the ability to focus, thus drastically reducing work performance.  It can also impede social behaviors necessary for good workplace relationship.

Unlike Hodgkins, you might not see napping from 2 to 4 PM as feasible or even ideal.  The 9 to 5 is just as enjoyable to some as its more unstructured alternatives are to others.  If you find yourself, though, stuck in the grind, fear not.

Constantly, new remote and time-flexible job positions are created.  Because of modern technology, teachers can virtually instruct classes in different timezones.  Business owners can work behind the scenes at all hours.  First responders and service industry professionals who prefer working at night can clock in after resting during the earlier hours of the day.

What is your ideal work style?  This is a question infrequently asked at high schools and universities.  We are so often expected to talk about what we like to do, but not how we like to do it.  Without this knowledge, we can accidentally wind up in careers that suffocate our passion instead of fanning it.  Once you notice the natural ebbs and flows of your energy throughout the day, you can begin to develop a career consistent with your preferred work schedule.  

Hodgkinson’s journey is a reminder that gaining the flexibility you desire in your career might take time.  He admits to having worked several jobs before finding his balance of work and idleness.  If you’re working in what I call a “stepping stone job”- one that feels particularly unstimulating and unsustainable- ask yourself these three questions:  What skills do I want to continue developing in the next phase of my career?  How do I want my next work environment to differ from this one?  How can I use my strengths in new ways?

Finding your work flow can feel challenging.  Start small by rethinking how you spend your little sprinkles of time throughout the day.  Consider stretching, walking, cooking, or calling a friend whenever possible.  Replace mindless activities with more pleasurable ones when necessary.  And if it works for you, embrace the two-hour nap.

Dear High School Seniors: An Open Letter to the Class of 2020 from a Mental Health Counselor

By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC

Dear High School Seniors,

This is the time you have been waiting for.  It’s warming up outside, and the days are getting longer.  Both are signs that the end of the school year is drawing near.  This May marks the 10-year anniversary since I graduated high school, and I still remember the excitement of looking out a classroom window, knowing that soon, I would be free.

I also remember the spring sports.  Going to high school baseball games felt extra fun when I knew my foot was halfway out the door.

I remember prom dress shopping, and of course, the prom, itself.  Like I was, I know many of you have been dreaming of prom since you were kids.

Graduation, although long and hot, was a rite of passage.  It almost felt like I left a different person than who I was when I arrived.

I know you, graduating class of 2020, have been longing for these experiences, along with senior barbeques, senior pranks, and senior trips, since not only the beginning of this year, but since the beginning of high school, if not the beginning of your entire school career.  Never did you think that the senior year experience you’d been counting down to would disappear, seemingly in a matter of days, because of a global pandemic.

You might be feeling angry, grumbling, “It’s not fair,” under your breath.

Maybe you’re sad, knowing that the end-of-year memories you counted on making with your best friends are no longer an option.

Maybe you’re scared, wondering how the state of the economy will affect your financial aid for college or your entry into the workforce.

I’m willing to bet some of you feel hopeless.  Maybe college was your chance for a fresh start or an escape from a less-than-ideal living situation, and now you’re not so sure if your plans for this fall are still on.

There’s a lot of pressure right now- to be grateful, to be productive, to somehow stay in control during a situation that is completely out of our control- but I’m not here to tell you any of those things.

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to not be okay right now.  It’s okay to feel any of those feelings I mentioned before, along with any others you might be experiencing.  It’s also okay if you’re not feeling much of anything.  Having either very strong or muted emotions during this time doesn’t mean you’re weak or selfish or crazy or broken.  It means you’re human, and you’re grieving, not only for the absence of the people you planned to see for two more months at school, but also for the experiences you thought you’d have.

One of my favorite ways I’ve heard grief described is as the loss of a dream.  That is exactly what is going on right now.  Emotions associated with grief include anything from irritability, despair, anger, and shame to apathy, disbelief, numbness, and even relief.  Other symptoms include difficulty concentrating, decreased or increased energy level, headaches, feeling like you don’t belong, over/underachieving, seeking more attention, and so many more (seriously, Google it).  Grief symptoms also might change rapidly, causing you to feel scattered or confused by your own emotions and behavior.

A common belief is that everybody experiences grief differently.  While it is true that everybody experiences grief symptoms at different levels and in a different order, people who are grieving often have more in common than they realize.

I encourage you, at this time, to accept whatever it is you might be feeling without judgment.  Take some time to sit with your feelings.  Get to know them.  Journal about them.  And when you’re ready, talk about them with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor.

I see you, high school seniors of 2020, and I am grieving with you as I picture myself 10 years ago forgoing the experiences I was lucky enough to have.  Be with yourselves, allowing yourself to witness your own pain, and be with each other in spirit by connecting and supporting one another from afar.  As you pioneer this crisis, being the first to ever experience a senior year of this kind, remember- you are doing better than you know.

Warmly,

Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC